My husband and I went to Lenox mall here in Atlanta yesterday to pick up some new jeans for me. I don't have any jeans that fit at the moment...they are all SO TIGHT!
Since this thyroid nonsense has begun I have gained 22 pounds. I have to take personal responsibility for some of it, but I do workout and I eat pretty well. I hope the doctor gets this figured out some time within the next few months. I will be adjusting the way I eat for a few months to see if that helps any. I just feel gross about the way I look. I really do hate it. I feel sloppy about my clothes not fitting me correctly, especially my uniforms.
My husband is so loving, encouraging, and supportive. He is so perfect for me. I love him dearly. He does get tired of hearing me complain about it though but sometimes I just can't help it. I let all of this stuff get to me.
After church today I changed my clothes and put on my brown belt (which I haven't worn in a few weeks). I sadly realized that I had to loosen the belt one more hole ...a depressing realization. I only have one hole left on the belt before the belt will be too small for me. What's really sad is seeing that this is the third time I have had to loosen the belt...the other holes are stretched out from use.
The LORD gives us experiences all the time to teach us the trust Him. It's in these moments that he really teaches us. I am learning a lot about what I value at the moment, and while I am struggling with all of this my trust and my hope is in Him and He is all that I need.
I am reading a book called Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. The book is challenging because it asks if we really trust in God. All Christians should respond with a resounding, "yes!," but the truth is many of us really don't trust in God. We still worry. We are still depressed and downcast.
The book proposes that hope + faith = trust. I am still trying to wrap my mind around it all but I do know that I want to trust. I will get through this hypothyroid thing. It's a common enough disease and it could be a lot worse. I need to focus on what matters, as usual.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Why were shepherds chosen?
I am working on a sermon for Advent this week and have been assigned the passage in Luke 2 where the angel tells the shepherds that Jesus is born and the shepherds leave to go find Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus.
I did a little research and am a bit perplexed about what I have learned about shepherds. The symbolism of shepherds all throughout the Bible is quite rampant, mostly in thinking about Jesus as the 'Good Shepherd', Psalm 23 of course, and on it goes.
But there were many other shepherds in the Bible. I think of Abel in Genesis 4; Lot and Abram when they separated (they had flocks in Gen 13), and Rachel as a shepherdess when Jacob first sees her (Gen 29). Joseph's brothers were shepherds, which were detestable to the Egyptians (Gen 46), and then of course there is Moses tending to Jethro's sheep when an angel of the LORD speaks to him in the burning bush (Ex 2 and 3). David, a shepherd boy, was chosen as king in 1 Samuel.
Shepherds play an important role in the Bible! Understanding that the common occupation of the day was shepherding and that shepherds were outcasts, were dirty, weren't very honest often times (grazing on other people's land), etc it makes sense that God would choose them to be the first to tell about Jesus being born, right? Luke thinks so and records it in his gospel. Matthew disagrees slightly and records that the Magi came and saw Jesus first.
It is complex to me that God would choose the common, dirty folk to discover and deliver the greatest message ever. The message of hope and of love. He chose ragamuffins and STILL does. The shepherds were doing their work and were receptive to the message. It's so simple and yet so profound.
I did a little research and am a bit perplexed about what I have learned about shepherds. The symbolism of shepherds all throughout the Bible is quite rampant, mostly in thinking about Jesus as the 'Good Shepherd', Psalm 23 of course, and on it goes.
But there were many other shepherds in the Bible. I think of Abel in Genesis 4; Lot and Abram when they separated (they had flocks in Gen 13), and Rachel as a shepherdess when Jacob first sees her (Gen 29). Joseph's brothers were shepherds, which were detestable to the Egyptians (Gen 46), and then of course there is Moses tending to Jethro's sheep when an angel of the LORD speaks to him in the burning bush (Ex 2 and 3). David, a shepherd boy, was chosen as king in 1 Samuel.
Shepherds play an important role in the Bible! Understanding that the common occupation of the day was shepherding and that shepherds were outcasts, were dirty, weren't very honest often times (grazing on other people's land), etc it makes sense that God would choose them to be the first to tell about Jesus being born, right? Luke thinks so and records it in his gospel. Matthew disagrees slightly and records that the Magi came and saw Jesus first.
It is complex to me that God would choose the common, dirty folk to discover and deliver the greatest message ever. The message of hope and of love. He chose ragamuffins and STILL does. The shepherds were doing their work and were receptive to the message. It's so simple and yet so profound.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Biblical Hebrew
I miss studying it. I would feel so inspired after struggling to read and understand the Hebrew. It is a really spiritual experience to read the Bible in its original languages. The beauty of it really encourages me in my faith.
I am looking for someone/somewhere to read Hebrew with here in Atlanta...
I am looking for someone/somewhere to read Hebrew with here in Atlanta...
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Blood work results...
Almost two months ago now I found out that I have a thyroid issue, hypothyroidism. I have been consistently gaining weight, have been suffering from fatigue and a myriad of other smaller issues.
I went to see the doctor for a routine physical and the blood results came back that I have hypothyroidism.
Now I have to take a little pill in the morning for the rest of my life.
I am still learning about this medical issue and have read material about it, but I am still finding some of it to be confusing. Research contradicts itself with other research (what to eat, what helps hypothyroidism, etc).
I have been exercising and eating healthy yet I am still gaining weight. This past weekend I came to the realization that I have to buy bigger jeans.
It's all a bit depressing, but I am doing what I am supposed to do. I exercise, take my medicine, and eat well. What else can I do?
I go to see the doctor every three weeks to have my blood tested. This is all a process.
When I feel miserable I have to be reminded to be thankful for my overall good health, that it could be worse, and that I have a caring, supportive husband.
As with everything I ask the LORD to teach me in all of this. Recently he has been teaching my about my vanity--it's all meaningless.
Thank you, LORD for humbling me and teaching me. But why does society place such a value on appearance? I have been sensitive to this topic lately and am growing spiritually as a result.
I went to see the doctor for a routine physical and the blood results came back that I have hypothyroidism.
Now I have to take a little pill in the morning for the rest of my life.
I am still learning about this medical issue and have read material about it, but I am still finding some of it to be confusing. Research contradicts itself with other research (what to eat, what helps hypothyroidism, etc).
I have been exercising and eating healthy yet I am still gaining weight. This past weekend I came to the realization that I have to buy bigger jeans.
It's all a bit depressing, but I am doing what I am supposed to do. I exercise, take my medicine, and eat well. What else can I do?
I go to see the doctor every three weeks to have my blood tested. This is all a process.
When I feel miserable I have to be reminded to be thankful for my overall good health, that it could be worse, and that I have a caring, supportive husband.
As with everything I ask the LORD to teach me in all of this. Recently he has been teaching my about my vanity--it's all meaningless.
Thank you, LORD for humbling me and teaching me. But why does society place such a value on appearance? I have been sensitive to this topic lately and am growing spiritually as a result.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Homeless update
This is for all two of my fans who read this.
I have diligently been working with those who I need to work with to take care of my homeless friend. I have gathered a lot of information about his situation.
He suffers from schizophrenia. I was inaccurate about how long he's been on the streets--38 years--not the 30 like I originally gathered.
His designated payee collects his disability and has been since he was put on the street back in June. He was at a personal care home and they kicked him out.
I called several places and visited several agencies downtown to see what can be done. The problem is that there is not enough resources for homeless people in the city. I understand that some people have the capacity to not be homeless and are on the streets as a result of their own doing, but not everyone.
So who looks after them? Who takes care of them?
No one. And worse yet, no one cares.
John is one person. He is in a shelter and will be transitioning (hopefully) over to a longer term program within the same facility but this is only because I am quite familiar with the agency.
What about everyone else?
Someone told me today that my "save-the-world-itis" will eventually wear off, after all, I am still young.
I want to care. How can we as a society, as Christians, be so dull to the pain that is around us?
At any rate, John is safely inside tonight as the rain continues to pour out of the sky. Thank you, LORD for what you are teaching me in all of this.
I have diligently been working with those who I need to work with to take care of my homeless friend. I have gathered a lot of information about his situation.
He suffers from schizophrenia. I was inaccurate about how long he's been on the streets--38 years--not the 30 like I originally gathered.
His designated payee collects his disability and has been since he was put on the street back in June. He was at a personal care home and they kicked him out.
I called several places and visited several agencies downtown to see what can be done. The problem is that there is not enough resources for homeless people in the city. I understand that some people have the capacity to not be homeless and are on the streets as a result of their own doing, but not everyone.
So who looks after them? Who takes care of them?
No one. And worse yet, no one cares.
John is one person. He is in a shelter and will be transitioning (hopefully) over to a longer term program within the same facility but this is only because I am quite familiar with the agency.
What about everyone else?
Someone told me today that my "save-the-world-itis" will eventually wear off, after all, I am still young.
I want to care. How can we as a society, as Christians, be so dull to the pain that is around us?
At any rate, John is safely inside tonight as the rain continues to pour out of the sky. Thank you, LORD for what you are teaching me in all of this.
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