My husband and I went to Lenox mall here in Atlanta yesterday to pick up some new jeans for me. I don't have any jeans that fit at the moment...they are all SO TIGHT!
Since this thyroid nonsense has begun I have gained 22 pounds. I have to take personal responsibility for some of it, but I do workout and I eat pretty well. I hope the doctor gets this figured out some time within the next few months. I will be adjusting the way I eat for a few months to see if that helps any. I just feel gross about the way I look. I really do hate it. I feel sloppy about my clothes not fitting me correctly, especially my uniforms.
My husband is so loving, encouraging, and supportive. He is so perfect for me. I love him dearly. He does get tired of hearing me complain about it though but sometimes I just can't help it. I let all of this stuff get to me.
After church today I changed my clothes and put on my brown belt (which I haven't worn in a few weeks). I sadly realized that I had to loosen the belt one more hole ...a depressing realization. I only have one hole left on the belt before the belt will be too small for me. What's really sad is seeing that this is the third time I have had to loosen the belt...the other holes are stretched out from use.
The LORD gives us experiences all the time to teach us the trust Him. It's in these moments that he really teaches us. I am learning a lot about what I value at the moment, and while I am struggling with all of this my trust and my hope is in Him and He is all that I need.
I am reading a book called Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. The book is challenging because it asks if we really trust in God. All Christians should respond with a resounding, "yes!," but the truth is many of us really don't trust in God. We still worry. We are still depressed and downcast.
The book proposes that hope + faith = trust. I am still trying to wrap my mind around it all but I do know that I want to trust. I will get through this hypothyroid thing. It's a common enough disease and it could be a lot worse. I need to focus on what matters, as usual.
No comments:
Post a Comment