Today I opened a box of donations and among vintage Raggedy Ann dolls and beautifully made handmade doll clothes were a couple of Cabbage Patch dolls.
The real ones circa 1983ish. I snatched all of them up, gave them a big heartfelt hug, screeched a little and sat on the floor in the clothes sorting room in tears for a minute.
Pathetic, yes.
I've held a cabbage patch doll here and there during my time in the Atlanta ARC but today it was different and special for some odd reason.
Before I was born my mom got a coveted cabbage patch doll for me. Something that she really could not afford but made the sacrifice for me to have one.
I grew up as a little girl collecting them. Through living in a homeless shelter, government housing, and eventually our own independent apartment they survived all of the moves. One move I didn't have any shoes except the ones on my feet and only a few sets of clothes, but I had my dolls. They were precious to me and I took care of them. Otherwise a tomboy and never having any interest in any other dolls, they were special.
Two days before my eleventh birthday (a Sunday that I skipped church and vowed I would NEVER do that again) our house caught on fire and the dolls were ruined from the pressure of the fire hose.
My dad bought me a doll after that but it wasn't the same. I grew up not collecting anything after that, and still don't to this day.
Until today. My sad childhood does have a few happy memories. Those dolls were one of them. The LORD saw me through my childhood and will see me through this triviality that is attacking me.
All of this hard, stressful work, and just mere exhaustion came to the surface for a quick second. I am tired and I want to quit. I need a break.
Seeing and hugging those dolls allowed me to release something and reclaim a part of who I am.
I don't know how to explain it but it was refreshing.
Just as the LORD took care of me as a little girl he is still taking care of, and will continue to, take care of me. He hugs and loves me with full abandonment the way I did with those dolls today.
The dolls are for sale in our Family Store. I don't need them--just the reminder.
Thanks, Abba.
