Forsaking All Presence Imposters

Over a year ago I bought a devotional series that I just started reading this past week (slowly, but reading none the less). I've tried to make the commitment again that I'm not going to buy more books are put more on the Kindle until I read what I already have. Since I'm home full-time with the baby right now it's a great time to use what I already have. It's also a great time to evaluate my spiritual walk without the distraction of my workaholicness.

A section in the book talks about belonging completely to God by forsaking all others. In the section about presence imposters it felt like the book was speaking to me.

A riveting quote:

I've come to learn that the things of God do not necessarily equate to God Himself. Service and Bible study do not always translate into intimate time spent with Him. In our humanness, we are perfectly capable of doing good works and studying our Bibles completely separate from the LORD. Sometimes we think we are experiencing God Himself, when what we've done is settled for an imposter.

When we have an intimate relationship with someone we develop that relationship in private yet with God we think we can develop our "intimate" relationship with him in public. It doesn't work that way. We need to, I need to, pursue His presence.

It's easy for me in ministry to meet with God to help further what is going on in ministry as a substitute for pursuing Him. I get so caught up in getting caught up that I sometimes neglect that precious time that I need with Him.

Doing the things of God in place of spending time with God Himself lead to burnout. So many that I know personally are already there. LORD, please protect me. I want intimate time with YOU!

Another quote:

We can get caught in a performance trap, feeling as though we must prove our love for God by doing great things for him. So we...implement great ministries and wonderful projects, all in an effort to spread the good news...While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship. The world clamors, "Do more! Be all that you can be!" But our Father whispers, "Be still and know that I am God." He isn't looking as much for workers as he is looking for sons and daughters--a people to pour his life into...Frustrated and weary, we can nearly break under the pressure of service, for there is always something that needs to be done.

 

Elijah

Born October 14th, 7lbs, 6oz, 21"

He's a keeper. We love him.

Andy is great.

The good news is that our baby is here--perfectly beautiful and healthy.  We are those new parents who take pictures every minute it seems like--well, at least Grandma is taking pictures every minute. :-) I'll put some up when I have some time...

I labored for 50 hours. I am thankful that it's over.

Andy is truly great. Over the past week I've learned how blessed I am to have him. He has been completely supportive, helpful, and loving. He is great with the baby--very hands on--and is great with me. He has been taking care of the both of us. I've realized how well we work together as a team and how much I simply love him. We are a happy family, albeit exhausted with a newborn, but happy.

Other than changing diapers, feeding him every 2-3 hours, and trying to rest there isn't much else going on.

Mommyhood so far is good.

Yay for love.

A lesson in trust

Our lives are about to change drastically as we bring our little boy home to love, to care for, and to raise. We admittedly are clueless about this new journey but we trust in the LORD and are excited. I've done some reflecting lately (and haven't blogged about it as much of it is just too personal) and am realizing that God really is faithful. He's been so good to me.

We've had a healthy pregnancy for the most part. We were blessed to conceive when we wanted to (according to "our plan") and nearly everything has progressed along as "we" wanted. I've been feeling good, although I have gained way too much weight...which I am determined will come off. We were planning on a natural labor and delivery method and have studied the Bradley method--again according to "our plan." Every week the doctor says the same thing: "he's the perfect size, everything looks great" and after my 30 seconds with the doctor I'm out of the office on my way back to work.

That is...until this past week when a few things were not as expected. I sat in the doctor's office shocked and confused, wishing that Andy were with me. My thyroid level is too high. We've been monitoring it the entire pregnancy but the last blood (TSH) test shows that it's high. It could be worse, but it's still high. I have another complication that will require medication during labor and delivery AND the doctor is concerned that the baby is large (what happened to the perfect size all these weeks?). He then "told" me the plans of my induction and gave me a sheet of medications that I'll have to take in the hospital with a list of what was going to happen to me, etc, etc, and the birth of our baby was assigned a date.

Suffice it is to say, I'm not pleased. At all. Now I feel like "our plan" of a natural birth is out the window and we are stuck relying on the doctor's plan. We talked about getting a second opinion but I'm already full term and don't want to put Elijah's health in jeopardy. I had a conversation with the LORD and I feel that He's asking me if I truly trust Him. The simple answer is that of course I do--at least I have with other events that have happened over the past year--but do I fully trust Him with this?

"Those who know your name will trust in you. For you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Ps 9:10

Did I mention that we are naming our son Elijah? He was a man who knew what it meant to trust in the LORD. What a great reminder for me. Will you trust in the LORD and allow Him to take care of you?

"I will put my trust in Him" Heb 2:13