So, it's true.
I'm a bad friend. The friends that are closest to me know it's true and they love me anyway. I'm awful at remembering birthdays and I don't often call. When they do come around while I'm at work there are always other people around taking my attention away.
I don't call because I'm ALWAYS busy. Always have been. Before I was engaged in constant, full-time ministry as a profession and calling I was a full-time graduate student and an employee. Before that I was a college student and employee. Before that I was heavily involved in my high school music program and involved with my church. Before that I was the parentified child in my household looking after my two younger siblings and taking care of my mom. I've always been busy.
Lately I've been trying to balance work (which I absolutely love) and being a wife who is available. Most of my friends live hundreds or thousands of miles away so we don't get together often or speak much. A couple of the really good friends have trekked to Atlanta to visit--one friend even twice already. Another two sets of friends are planning on coming in January.
I have good friends far away.
I have a very few good friends here in Atlanta, too. I still don't get together often with them, or call, or even facebook them.
One of my friends lost her job about three weeks ago. She came to work tonight to talk to me. She sent me a text when it happened and I totally missed it. She's been trying to get my attention since and I've missed it every time. Add to that her birthday was this past Tuesday. I utterly and totally forgot it. I have no excuse.
I'm a bad friend.
How do I fix it? I try to balance but there never is enough time for everyone and everything (welcome to adulthood, I know).
I've been so focused lately on work, on dealing with a situation with my sick mother back in Pennsylvania, and on having time for Andy that I have completely blocked out everyone else.
I'm sorry.
I have a 12 mile run in the morning as prep for the half marathon in two weeks. I can think about how to be a better friend during the run.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Family: A divine concept
I teach a weekly class on Monday afternoons at a transitional shelter for veterans overcoming addiction(s). The class is called Family Issues and we mainly talk about dysfunctional families and how the cycles and patterns of our families repeat through the generations (generational curses) and what can be done to change the pattern.
We've spent a good amount of time talking about dysfunctional families in the Bible but this past Monday we talked about the concept of family.
Starting in Genesis (1:28) we are instructed to make families, "go forth and multiply." This is in a book that has several stories about families and was written (first aurally passed down) for families to read together. In some places the Bible is even still read by families...what a concept that is...
In the Bible the family is a representation of the community. When a family fails the community fails (Israelites as a prime example, or Eli's sons). We see this in our society. We have weak families= weak communities, weak morals, etc. Families, and the larger community, promote growth and strength.
Deuteronomy 29:18 tells us to "make sure there isn't a man or woman among your families or tribes who turns away from the LORD our God" Basically there were consequences when families did not make God worship their primary focus. Family is something more than the "basic unit of society" or a household unit, but is a divine concept made to worship God and to affect change for the better.
Family is not a manmade concept. It originates from the mind of God. God chooses to bless families, not man. God often refers to Christ and the Church as a family (bridegroom, Father-Son, etc).
The Bible, inspired by God, talks loads about relationships and about inheritance. Family patterns were so important that the new testament begins with a family tree of Jesus' line. The old testament ends with instruction for children and parents to love each other. Jesus is God's "only begotten son." When Jesus is dying on the cross he tells John to take care of his mother (John 19:27).
The Bible also talks about the importance of spiritual family. "My mother and my brothers are those people who hear and obey God's word" (Luke 8:20). Spiritual parents and spiritual family look different for different people just as the biological family does.
In a day and age where family values aren't really values at all, where culture is raising even our "Christian" children, where pastors and preachers don't value marriage, or aren't home to spend time with their children, where we divorce just as much inside the Church as outside of the Church, we need to realize that in order to faithfully practice our beliefs we need to reevaluate our notions of family.
We've spent a good amount of time talking about dysfunctional families in the Bible but this past Monday we talked about the concept of family.
Starting in Genesis (1:28) we are instructed to make families, "go forth and multiply." This is in a book that has several stories about families and was written (first aurally passed down) for families to read together. In some places the Bible is even still read by families...what a concept that is...
In the Bible the family is a representation of the community. When a family fails the community fails (Israelites as a prime example, or Eli's sons). We see this in our society. We have weak families= weak communities, weak morals, etc. Families, and the larger community, promote growth and strength.
Deuteronomy 29:18 tells us to "make sure there isn't a man or woman among your families or tribes who turns away from the LORD our God" Basically there were consequences when families did not make God worship their primary focus. Family is something more than the "basic unit of society" or a household unit, but is a divine concept made to worship God and to affect change for the better.
Family is not a manmade concept. It originates from the mind of God. God chooses to bless families, not man. God often refers to Christ and the Church as a family (bridegroom, Father-Son, etc).
The Bible, inspired by God, talks loads about relationships and about inheritance. Family patterns were so important that the new testament begins with a family tree of Jesus' line. The old testament ends with instruction for children and parents to love each other. Jesus is God's "only begotten son." When Jesus is dying on the cross he tells John to take care of his mother (John 19:27).
The Bible also talks about the importance of spiritual family. "My mother and my brothers are those people who hear and obey God's word" (Luke 8:20). Spiritual parents and spiritual family look different for different people just as the biological family does.
In a day and age where family values aren't really values at all, where culture is raising even our "Christian" children, where pastors and preachers don't value marriage, or aren't home to spend time with their children, where we divorce just as much inside the Church as outside of the Church, we need to realize that in order to faithfully practice our beliefs we need to reevaluate our notions of family.
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