Lately I've been attempting to be intentional about telling others about Jesus--particularly the employees and men in the program where I spend most of my waking hours.
Last night an opportunity presented itself when I offered to stay behind (and abstain from festivities) to plan, lead, and speak at our Ash Wednesday chapel.
I took my time preparing and seeking what the LORD wanted me to say to the men.
The time came and a retired minister, a dear friend on the piano, and I began to engage these 130 or so exhausted men in worship. The program went "smoothly" until it came time for me to speak.
I got up to the pulpit and honestly did not know what to say or where to begin. I sought the LORD and prepared a devotional (it was far from "polished") on John 4 where Jesus meets the woman at the well. I wanted to talk about "Jacob's well," grace shown to the woman, living water, etc. I spent time with it the night before and the day of...so what happened?
I sputtered it all out and was quite frustrated. I asked the Spirit while I was up there what was happening. Looking out at all of those tired faces and blank eyes distracted me. I wanted to cry. At the end of the devotional the Casting Crowns song "The Well" was to play on the screen as a video and it didn't work. I didn't do an altar call (we did have one earlier in the meeting with some response). I just wanted it to be over.
I want the men to know Jesus--to have personal relationship with Him and to live differently. I want to model that relationship for them as I strive daily to grow in holiness.
Feeling discouraged and exhausted I voiced all of this to Andy before going to bed last night. He politely listened as he always does but didn't have an answer to fix my frustration. I kept asking the LORD what he was teaching me in all of this. I got up early and ran this morning and thought about it the entire time.
Then I went to work. I wanted to speak with the retired minister and get his thoughts on the service last night--see if he had an answer to what "went wrong."
The retired minister came to my office to tell me that he had a man weeping in his office for thirty minutes last night after the service as he was touched and convicted to live differently and to drink of THE living water.
Another man asked if we could meet for thirty minutes each week and do some Bible study and discipleship.
Another man asked me to help hold him accountable to reading through the Lent scripture guide I put together. He wants to write about each of the scriptures each day.
As usual the LORD taught me a valuable lesson...
