Ode to Ikea

I picked up Shytacia from Warner Robins the other day to come and hang with us our last week in Atlanta. On the drive up to Atlanta I asked what she wanted to do this week besides what we already had planned.

She said she wanted to go to Ikea again.

The last time she was here I was buying things for the baby's nursery before he was born and we had dinner at Ikea and had fun walking through the showroom and goofing off. I had nearly forgotten about it. The more I thought about it the more it made sense to me.

I asked her what she liked about Ikea so much and she told me she liked the happy bedroom sets and home set-ups. How simple, yet beautiful.

She doesn't come from a nice home at all and I understand where she is coming from.

Today we went to Ikea for dinner and did our goofing off walk through and got to include Elijah this time. We daydreamed about all of the room set-ups and picked our favorites for us and for those we love most dearly.

It was a great time.

Thank you, LORD, for the ability to dream and have fun in the simplest of things.

For Thy Mission

Lyrics of songs have really been speaking to my heart lately. I guess I don't have the words to express but others do and I like to use them. I am looking forward to being someone's corps officer and loving on them in a few short weeks.

In chapel this morning we sang this song:

Thou hast called me from the byway
To proclaim thy wondrous love;
Thou hast placed me on the highway
That to all men I may prove
There is mission in my living,
There is meaning in my word;
Saviour, in my daily striving
May this message yet be heard.

For thy mission make me holy.
For thy glory make me thine,
Sanctify each moment fully,
Fill my life with love divine.

Have I lost the sense of mission
That inspired my early zeal,
When the first of thy commission
Did my dedication seal?
Let me hear thy tender pleading,
Let me see thy beckoning hand,
Let me feel thee gently leading
As I bow to thy command.

LORD, release that latent passion
Which in me has dormant lain;
Recreate a deep compassion
That will care and care again.
Needy souls are still my mission,
Sinners yet demand my love;
This must be my life's ambition,
This alone my heart shall move.

-Brindley Boon

How He Loves Song

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a unforseen kiss (sloppy wet kiss),
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way...

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

Baby Bird

This past week I spent in Nashville at continuing education for all officers in their first five years.

On an afternoon break as I was coming up the steps I noticed a tiny, sick baby bird on the cement. I started to pass it by but then stopped and stooped down. I looked at it for awhile and then decided to pick it up.

I'm a city girl and I have no idea what to do with birds that are half dead so I wen to where all the other officers were congregated and found a boy officer that I knew to help me. He quickly shuffled me to another larger group of male officers.

One of those guys took the bird and as I found out a few minutes later had fun killing it.

I was mad until a wise friend told me that the mother of the bird either wanted it to die by kicking it out of its nest due to disease, or would have allowed it to die since it now had my (and several other) smells on it.

I didn't know that the bird would die. I was just trying to help.

Sometimes we try to help others along spiritually with good intentions but really we are killing them, too. I made a friend who I genuinely wanted to "help" spiritually but after a year I've learned that I wasn't the right person to help. Not sure if I misheard from the LORD or if my "I" got in the way of what the LORD was trying to do, but it's a good lesson for me all the while. Doesn't mean I or we shouldn't make an attempt, but we need to know what we are doing before we jump in with the best intentions in the world only to see them fail. It is absolutely imperative that we are aligned spiritually with what we are doing. We work with the souls of people. That's serious stuff.

Also, I found it telling that dozens of other officers walked right by the same baby bird and left him. And then when I took him for help I was shuffled from one group to another. Not sure if no one was willing to help or just couldn't. In the end the one guy did kill the bird, which at first I thought was cruel, but was it? At least he was willing to do something with the bird when so many others were not.

It was just a baby bird, but still. I'm an over thinker.

"His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me...."

Somebody Prayed For Me

When my heart was so broken'
That I could not pray,
When love wasn't easy to see.
Someone was there,
Somebody cared...
Somebody prayed for me.

Somebody went to the Throne of Heaven,
Somebody lifted my name,
Bringing me into His Holy presence.
Saying what I could not say,
Somebody showed me the face of His mercy,
When darkness was all I could see.
Somebody pleaded the blood of Jesus, Somebody prayed for me.

Life lately

A lot has been going on in my life since I last blogged. There have been several times when I thought about blogging but just didn't do it.

I took some time to focus on my spiritual growth and it is working...quite encouraging. I feel good and in tune with the Spirit.

Situations have been brought to my attention and I have responded. One such situation is still going on and is tugging at my spirit big time. I keep asking the LORD to release me from it but he hasn't yet. I'm not sure what His will is, but I'm being obedient.

I am struggling with it. At times it's all I can think about. It makes me cry and hurt.

Last Saturday Elijah and I went and paid a visit to Warner Robins to spend the day with Shytacia. We had a great time and I spoiled her like crazy. I told Andy before he left for Mexico that I was going to spoil her and that's exactly what I did. We had a little bit of an altercation with her drunken father when I dropped her off and it made me hate having to leave her there but she is doing well--made straight A's on her report card. She and all of her siblings have been home from foster care since Christmas. She's gained a little weight and looks healthy. I sure do love that girl--she's already fifteen!

Valuable Lesson Learned

Lately I've been attempting to be intentional about telling others about Jesus--particularly the employees and men in the program where I spend most of my waking hours.

Last night an opportunity presented itself when I offered to stay behind (and abstain from festivities) to plan, lead, and speak at our Ash Wednesday chapel.

I took my time preparing and seeking what the LORD wanted me to say to the men.

The time came and a retired minister, a dear friend on the piano, and I began to engage these 130 or so exhausted men in worship. The program went "smoothly" until it came time for me to speak.

I got up to the pulpit and honestly did not know what to say or where to begin. I sought the LORD and prepared a devotional (it was far from "polished") on John 4 where Jesus meets the woman at the well. I wanted to talk about "Jacob's well," grace shown to the woman, living water, etc. I spent time with it the night before and the day of...so what happened?

I sputtered it all out and was quite frustrated. I asked the Spirit while I was up there what was happening. Looking out at all of those tired faces and blank eyes distracted me. I wanted to cry. At the end of the devotional the Casting Crowns song "The Well" was to play on the screen as a video and it didn't work. I didn't do an altar call (we did have one earlier in the meeting with some response). I just wanted it to be over.

I want the men to know Jesus--to have personal relationship with Him and to live differently. I want to model that relationship for them as I strive daily to grow in holiness.

Feeling discouraged and exhausted I voiced all of this to Andy before going to bed last night. He politely listened as he always does but didn't have an answer to fix my frustration. I kept asking the LORD what he was teaching me in all of this. I got up early and ran this morning and thought about it the entire time.

Then I went to work. I wanted to speak with the retired minister and get his thoughts on the service last night--see if he had an answer to what "went wrong."

The retired minister came to my office to tell me that he had a man weeping in his office for thirty minutes last night after the service as he was touched and convicted to live differently and to drink of THE living water.

Another man asked if we could meet for thirty minutes each week and do some Bible study and discipleship.

Another man asked me to help hold him accountable to reading through the Lent scripture guide I put together. He wants to write about each of the scriptures each day.

As usual the LORD taught me a valuable lesson...