Andy and I have noticed that the baby tub we were using was beginning to become to small for Elijah. He likes to stretch out his long legs and the tub we were using was prohibiting his movement.
Time for a new tub...
I bought the tub (Primo EuroBath baby tub) on craigslist to save money, time, and the shipping costs.
The tub was picked up today during lunch time in the parking lot of a popular store and the former owner and I got to talking.
Turns out she is the single mom of a 15 month old girl. Single due to domestic violence. In her words, "he's an abusive pervert."
She was brave enough to leave her husband and take her six month old baby to stay in a domestic violence shelter for six months.
He has visitation rights on Sundays at a police station.
As she was telling me this and crying in the parking lot I was encouraging her (I happen to have a lot of experience with domestic violence both personally and professionally) and thanking God for the opportunity to meet her.
I have a new tub, a new person to intercede on behalf of, and a new friend.
How just like God to show up and do something unexpected--even on days when we are worn out and bone tired like today. Yay for God. And courage.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
New Believers "section"
Elijah and I made a voyage to the Christian bookstore tonight to buy a few large print Bibles and a couple of other books for a few of the men at the Center.
We ended up not buying any large print Bibles. They are ridiculously priced. Christians must be an easy crowd to rip off.
I was speaking with an employee in the store and mentioned that I am looking for something for the merger between science and Christianity (we've recently had an agnostic get gloriously saved and he's looking for something to read) and something to help a new believer for another man in the program.
He told me about their "new believers" section and began to lead me to this "section" in the back of the store.
In the very back of the store, to the right of the choir robes, on the bottom right hand side of the shelf was a sign that had fallen over that read "new believers." This "section" had a total of five books--three of them were the same book in different sizes (which I bought).
Glad to see that new believer material is selling well. That 1/4 of a shelf in a big book store spoke volumes to me tonight. We need new believers.
We ended up not buying any large print Bibles. They are ridiculously priced. Christians must be an easy crowd to rip off.
I was speaking with an employee in the store and mentioned that I am looking for something for the merger between science and Christianity (we've recently had an agnostic get gloriously saved and he's looking for something to read) and something to help a new believer for another man in the program.
He told me about their "new believers" section and began to lead me to this "section" in the back of the store.
In the very back of the store, to the right of the choir robes, on the bottom right hand side of the shelf was a sign that had fallen over that read "new believers." This "section" had a total of five books--three of them were the same book in different sizes (which I bought).
Glad to see that new believer material is selling well. That 1/4 of a shelf in a big book store spoke volumes to me tonight. We need new believers.
Monday, January 9, 2012
REfocus
Every once and a while I just need to re-focus and prioritize.
I need to get to bed earlier and do my devotions EVERY DAY. I'm craving it. I need it. Not some short little devotional (I do fine with that on the Kindle) but some knee deep time with my savior.
Being exhausted is my own fault. I could go to bed when the baby goes to bed but then what about everything else that's fighting for my frazzled attention?
Running another half marathon in the middle of March is still my goal but I need to actually run to do it.
I have half knit projects that need to be finished and last night I just HAD to try out my new cookie press resulting in way too many cookies for us to eat (I brought them to work) and a stomach ache this morning from eating raw cookie dough.
I am self-sabotaging myself. Time to stop. Time to focus.
An accountability partner will help--and I am thankful for her.
A loving husband who tells me, "go to bed! You are cranky and annoying" helps.
A desperate need for holiness helps.
Let's do this! :-)
I need to get to bed earlier and do my devotions EVERY DAY. I'm craving it. I need it. Not some short little devotional (I do fine with that on the Kindle) but some knee deep time with my savior.
Being exhausted is my own fault. I could go to bed when the baby goes to bed but then what about everything else that's fighting for my frazzled attention?
Running another half marathon in the middle of March is still my goal but I need to actually run to do it.
I have half knit projects that need to be finished and last night I just HAD to try out my new cookie press resulting in way too many cookies for us to eat (I brought them to work) and a stomach ache this morning from eating raw cookie dough.
I am self-sabotaging myself. Time to stop. Time to focus.
An accountability partner will help--and I am thankful for her.
A loving husband who tells me, "go to bed! You are cranky and annoying" helps.
A desperate need for holiness helps.
Let's do this! :-)
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
On Christmas Eve I took advantage of the opportunity and went for a few mile jog while Andy watched the baby. I ran around the inside of the gated campus where we live.
I only had a few laps left when I noticed her--the electric blue tight dress--cut way too short and way too tight-wearing black leather knee boots with killer heels. Prostitutes in our neighborhood, especially out back by the tennis courts are no surprise. What shocked me was how young she looked as I ran closer to her.
I jogged on by and began to reminisce about playing tennis over there with Andy when the prostitutes waiting to get picked up would watch and cheer us on in our game. They would get picked up and we would continue with our game. They would sit along the curb and watch us play. We had fun.
We missed the opportunity then to evangelize to them. I felt convicted about the electric blue girl and decided that one my next lap around that I would say something to her.
By the time I came back around it was too late. She was gone. Another missed opportunity. I'm not sure if I was truly disappointed or relieved--or a mixture of both. All I know is that she was gone. I delayed responding to the nudging in my spirit. I do that too often.
The more I thought about as I continued jogging the more upset I became. If I were to talk to this girl what would I say? I would want to get her off the street immediately--probably invite her inside to chat or to eat with us on Christmas Eve. In reality I would have been talking to her through a locked fence. She wouldn't have been able to get in and I wouldn't have been able to get out. The opening to the gate is a half mile away. We say we are incarnational in our community by our gated property with security guards to keep the community out says otherwise...
I prayed about it as I became frustrated.
On my last lap around I noticed another lady out there--down closer to the maintenance shed this time. The LORD was giving me another opportunity. This time I was walking as a cool down. I approached the fence and began to open my mouth when I was distracted by two kids behind me on campus filling up a bike tire with air. I turned to look at them and then at the woman on the street. I started to walk away and then turned back again toward the street. I did the same thing a third time and ended up not talking to her reasoning that I didn't want to expose the kids there to what could happen if I did talk to her. In hindsight I would have done it.
Another missed opportunity. My spirit was going crazy--and still is. Call it holy discontent. Call it shame and disappointment. Call it whatever you want but there are people in need at our front door (gate) literally and we can't even tell them that we have what they need. We are too busy protecting what we have when we should be--I should be--willing to give it away. LORD, have mercy on us--on me.
As I walked toward our building Andy was outside with the baby who was crying. It was time to be a mom.
I only had a few laps left when I noticed her--the electric blue tight dress--cut way too short and way too tight-wearing black leather knee boots with killer heels. Prostitutes in our neighborhood, especially out back by the tennis courts are no surprise. What shocked me was how young she looked as I ran closer to her.
I jogged on by and began to reminisce about playing tennis over there with Andy when the prostitutes waiting to get picked up would watch and cheer us on in our game. They would get picked up and we would continue with our game. They would sit along the curb and watch us play. We had fun.
We missed the opportunity then to evangelize to them. I felt convicted about the electric blue girl and decided that one my next lap around that I would say something to her.
By the time I came back around it was too late. She was gone. Another missed opportunity. I'm not sure if I was truly disappointed or relieved--or a mixture of both. All I know is that she was gone. I delayed responding to the nudging in my spirit. I do that too often.
The more I thought about as I continued jogging the more upset I became. If I were to talk to this girl what would I say? I would want to get her off the street immediately--probably invite her inside to chat or to eat with us on Christmas Eve. In reality I would have been talking to her through a locked fence. She wouldn't have been able to get in and I wouldn't have been able to get out. The opening to the gate is a half mile away. We say we are incarnational in our community by our gated property with security guards to keep the community out says otherwise...
I prayed about it as I became frustrated.
On my last lap around I noticed another lady out there--down closer to the maintenance shed this time. The LORD was giving me another opportunity. This time I was walking as a cool down. I approached the fence and began to open my mouth when I was distracted by two kids behind me on campus filling up a bike tire with air. I turned to look at them and then at the woman on the street. I started to walk away and then turned back again toward the street. I did the same thing a third time and ended up not talking to her reasoning that I didn't want to expose the kids there to what could happen if I did talk to her. In hindsight I would have done it.
Another missed opportunity. My spirit was going crazy--and still is. Call it holy discontent. Call it shame and disappointment. Call it whatever you want but there are people in need at our front door (gate) literally and we can't even tell them that we have what they need. We are too busy protecting what we have when we should be--I should be--willing to give it away. LORD, have mercy on us--on me.
As I walked toward our building Andy was outside with the baby who was crying. It was time to be a mom.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
A shot of love
Yesterday Elijah had his two month shots. The last time we went to the doctor he had to receive a shot and it about nearly killed me. This time I wasn't going alone--Andy was going to come for reinforcements.
Why do the needles have to be so big when the baby is so small? Apparently they don't make baby sized needles--pain does not discriminate.
The sharp metal point on the needles were so long. The nurse brought them in all lined up on a metal platter with a bunch of band-aids all ready to go.
I thought I knew what to expect. When she was getting ready I was holding E's hands and looking into his eyes--he was so innocent and had no idea what was about to happen to him! Andy says, "where do you want me to be?" I told him just to stand next to me and rub my back or something.
This was more traumatic for me than for the baby.
Upon entrance of the first needle (immediately!) Elijah let out a screeching scream that I hope I never hear again. It made me cry. Each needle had another loud scream but nothing like the first one.
When she was finished I picked him up and held him so close and so tight I was afraid he couldn't breath. The rest of the day he slept against my chest only waking up to scream some more. Poor kid.
I was thinking yesterday about how I wish I could have taken those needles for him. It was painful to watch it happen and although I'm told that it is good for him, I still do not like it.
It makes me think about how much God loves us. He sent his son, his only son, to experience pain. He allowed it to happen. He watched it.
He did it for you. He did it for me.
That's a real shot of love.
Why do the needles have to be so big when the baby is so small? Apparently they don't make baby sized needles--pain does not discriminate.
The sharp metal point on the needles were so long. The nurse brought them in all lined up on a metal platter with a bunch of band-aids all ready to go.
I thought I knew what to expect. When she was getting ready I was holding E's hands and looking into his eyes--he was so innocent and had no idea what was about to happen to him! Andy says, "where do you want me to be?" I told him just to stand next to me and rub my back or something.
This was more traumatic for me than for the baby.
Upon entrance of the first needle (immediately!) Elijah let out a screeching scream that I hope I never hear again. It made me cry. Each needle had another loud scream but nothing like the first one.
When she was finished I picked him up and held him so close and so tight I was afraid he couldn't breath. The rest of the day he slept against my chest only waking up to scream some more. Poor kid.
I was thinking yesterday about how I wish I could have taken those needles for him. It was painful to watch it happen and although I'm told that it is good for him, I still do not like it.
It makes me think about how much God loves us. He sent his son, his only son, to experience pain. He allowed it to happen. He watched it.
He did it for you. He did it for me.
That's a real shot of love.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
The Five B's
This was written by a mentor of mine in New York. I miss his teaching.
The Five B's: Empowering a Salvationist Vital Soldiership by Captain Young Sung Kim
1. Bible- "homo unius libri," "Sanctify them by the truth; your Word is truth" (John 17:17).
2. Book- "A leader is a reader"
3. Booths- holiness theology; Wesleyan-Arminian heritage; women's ministry; aggressive evangelism
4. Bench- prayer life/spirituality
5. Boots- social holiness and personal holiness
The Five B's: Empowering a Salvationist Vital Soldiership by Captain Young Sung Kim
1. Bible- "homo unius libri," "Sanctify them by the truth; your Word is truth" (John 17:17).
2. Book- "A leader is a reader"
3. Booths- holiness theology; Wesleyan-Arminian heritage; women's ministry; aggressive evangelism
4. Bench- prayer life/spirituality
5. Boots- social holiness and personal holiness
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Decisions and balance in motherhood
Balancing everything in my life seems to be a constant struggle. While I'm not back at work as of yet, I find myself agonizing over how I'm going to manage work, the baby, and Andy (who has a very demanding schedule)--all things I am committed to and love dearly. Specifically, Andy has been assigned to a place for the Christmas season that isn't close to home. He'll have an apartment up there so we won't see him much for about six weeks.
In addition to all of that I am learning that I really need "me" time. I feel kind of selfish about it, but I am much better for Andy and Elijah if I've had some time to myself. This blog is an example of "me" time but the larger example is finding time to exercise. I can't do much exercise yet, but walking is something that I love to do (until I can run again!) and fitting it into the schedule is difficult. I've only been able to walk one night this week so far.
I'm learning that I'm an over protective mother. I google just about everything (Andy says Mr. Google is raising our son) to find out what I should do or what that mark is on his skin, etc. I read several books before we had the baby but I feel that I need more information. After all, he's our only kid and I want to be a good mom. I love him too much to plead ignorance.
A decision we are contemplating right now is the pacifier vs. finger situation with the baby. What's bothering me the most is whether or not to use the pacifier (soother as our friends say) or not? What about thumb sucking? Andy thinks it's cute but I'm undecided. Also, we've been letting him suck on our fingers to soothe himself but that is not a viable solution long term. I'm sure we'll look back at this time and laugh about how silly this seems but this is where we are right now.
Balancing is all about decisions. We make decisions every day about what to eat, how to spend our time, how to treat ourselves, how to treat the people around us and whether or not we will spend quiet time with the LORD. I want a good balance in my life. Finding it is an art.
LORD--as usual I need YOU. Help me balance with consistency all of these things competing for attention in my life. Help me to recognize that I need you primarily and to trust that you will take care of everything else.
In addition to all of that I am learning that I really need "me" time. I feel kind of selfish about it, but I am much better for Andy and Elijah if I've had some time to myself. This blog is an example of "me" time but the larger example is finding time to exercise. I can't do much exercise yet, but walking is something that I love to do (until I can run again!) and fitting it into the schedule is difficult. I've only been able to walk one night this week so far.
I'm learning that I'm an over protective mother. I google just about everything (Andy says Mr. Google is raising our son) to find out what I should do or what that mark is on his skin, etc. I read several books before we had the baby but I feel that I need more information. After all, he's our only kid and I want to be a good mom. I love him too much to plead ignorance.
A decision we are contemplating right now is the pacifier vs. finger situation with the baby. What's bothering me the most is whether or not to use the pacifier (soother as our friends say) or not? What about thumb sucking? Andy thinks it's cute but I'm undecided. Also, we've been letting him suck on our fingers to soothe himself but that is not a viable solution long term. I'm sure we'll look back at this time and laugh about how silly this seems but this is where we are right now.
Balancing is all about decisions. We make decisions every day about what to eat, how to spend our time, how to treat ourselves, how to treat the people around us and whether or not we will spend quiet time with the LORD. I want a good balance in my life. Finding it is an art.
LORD--as usual I need YOU. Help me balance with consistency all of these things competing for attention in my life. Help me to recognize that I need you primarily and to trust that you will take care of everything else.
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