A lesson in trust

Our lives are about to change drastically as we bring our little boy home to love, to care for, and to raise. We admittedly are clueless about this new journey but we trust in the LORD and are excited. I've done some reflecting lately (and haven't blogged about it as much of it is just too personal) and am realizing that God really is faithful. He's been so good to me.

We've had a healthy pregnancy for the most part. We were blessed to conceive when we wanted to (according to "our plan") and nearly everything has progressed along as "we" wanted. I've been feeling good, although I have gained way too much weight...which I am determined will come off. We were planning on a natural labor and delivery method and have studied the Bradley method--again according to "our plan." Every week the doctor says the same thing: "he's the perfect size, everything looks great" and after my 30 seconds with the doctor I'm out of the office on my way back to work.

That is...until this past week when a few things were not as expected. I sat in the doctor's office shocked and confused, wishing that Andy were with me. My thyroid level is too high. We've been monitoring it the entire pregnancy but the last blood (TSH) test shows that it's high. It could be worse, but it's still high. I have another complication that will require medication during labor and delivery AND the doctor is concerned that the baby is large (what happened to the perfect size all these weeks?). He then "told" me the plans of my induction and gave me a sheet of medications that I'll have to take in the hospital with a list of what was going to happen to me, etc, etc, and the birth of our baby was assigned a date.

Suffice it is to say, I'm not pleased. At all. Now I feel like "our plan" of a natural birth is out the window and we are stuck relying on the doctor's plan. We talked about getting a second opinion but I'm already full term and don't want to put Elijah's health in jeopardy. I had a conversation with the LORD and I feel that He's asking me if I truly trust Him. The simple answer is that of course I do--at least I have with other events that have happened over the past year--but do I fully trust Him with this?

"Those who know your name will trust in you. For you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Ps 9:10

Did I mention that we are naming our son Elijah? He was a man who knew what it meant to trust in the LORD. What a great reminder for me. Will you trust in the LORD and allow Him to take care of you?

"I will put my trust in Him" Heb 2:13