Wellness in Families

I taught my first class today on "Family Issues" with a group of about 20 men and 1 woman putting their lives back together here in Atlanta. This is a class I will teach weekly for the next few months.

We made genograms of our families today. A genogram is basically a family tree with more information. It is used to track generational patterns and cycles of things--conflict, distance, addiction, disorders, career paths, number of children, choice of religion, etc. Whenever I do this with someone they are always shocked to see the things that repeat themselves through the generations. Research has documented that alcoholism is common in multiple generations, just as violence, career choice, and religion are. It always amazes me that people never think about these patterns in their families until they scribble it out on the paper. Some families have negative cycles and patterns that continue to repeat generation after generation, while others have positive things that repeat.

My favorite genograms are the ones where there is a lot of negativity and then all of a sudden there is a generation or a group of siblings where there are only positive things.

That happened to one gentlemen today. He was looking at his genogram and noticed that all of his sisters children didn't have any of the drama, trauma, or conflict that multiple generations of his family has experienced. This was profound for him to look at and when I asked him about it he said, "something must have broken the pattern."

When I pause to reflect on my own family and the cycles and patterns that exist I am astonished to think about how good God really is and has been to my generation in my family. We have broken many of those negative cycles and other generational curses that have existed in my family for a very long time.

This brings me to wellness in families. The Bible is pretty clear about bringing your children up in the way should go and they will not depart from it. I need to be healthy--physically, emotionally, and spiritually--and break the negative pattern that has existed in my family for so long. This healthy living will be passed on to my children and grandchildren.

I am joining the YMCA and not some other gym because I support the idea of community based family health and wellness. There are so many people who are suffering and there are so many broken families. We need to teach and model wellness in families.

Food: Fuel or pleasure?

I have a confession: I, Monica, am an emotional eater.

I know this may come as a shock to some, especially to those who have had to work for or with me when I am stressed, frustrated, or have been with me when I have experienced some form of personal injustice. This may also be a shock to those who have grown up with me, listen to me when I am having a pity party, or otherwise have had the unfortunate pleasure of putting up with me when I am in an unmotivated state of positive being.

Eating for pleasure if usually just wrong--not always, but usually. The "usually" wrong is when I get myself into trouble. I eat when I am bored and not hungry, or when I am too lazy to do something else...or when it is just right there in my face screaming "eat me!"

This is why I am re-focusing the role of food in my life. Food is fuel for our bodies. I think if I viewed food this way I would think differently about the way that I eat and would make better choices. I am doing just that now.

For the month of September I am veggie/vegan/ish. I am not eating meat for a few reasons. The main reason is because I want to be healthier and every now and again I need to get back on track about what and why I am eating. Being a vegetarian, or really a wannabe vegan, is an attempt to focus on giving my body the fuel that it needs and focusing less on the pleasure aspect of eating. My husband doesn't help this because he eats so much grease, fat, and other junk and is still really thin.

I am also focusing on what I eat because I have yet to get back into the routine of working out consistently. I am definitely feeling it and am on the cusp of getting back into it, but balancing everything else I have going on is making it difficult. I am just still making excuses (I visited a local gym and will be joining it within the next week. I just can't do the gym here where I live. It is not motivating enough for me).

Which brings me to this question: when you eat, are you eating because your body needs fuel or are you eating for some other purpose?

Dairy free is for me

There are some things in life that just aren't fair. Being lactose intolerant is one of those things-especially for me as I really enjoy eating cheese, ice cream, and other fine dairy oriented foods.

I had a visit to my new doctor in Atlanta today and we discussed lactose intolerance and it made me think a little bit about how we all have something that reminds us of how human we really are and how dependent we need to be on the LORD. I am not saying that being lactose intolerant is all that serious compared to what many others have to live with, but it is inconvenient and serves as a reminder every time I eat cheese or ice cream that my body is not perfect. It makes me rely on the LORD just a little bit more and reminds me that I need to be thankful for my otherwise good health.

There are ways around not eating dairy. I take a calcium supplement, use soy milk when I am making something just for me, and take a pill for those times when I just HAVE to have some cheese. Being conscience about what I am eating is a positive thing. Our bodies really are the temple of the LORD and we need to take care of them. Spending a few extra dollars occasionally or passing up on the string cheese (so sad, I know!) really is in my best interest.

Thank you LORD for making me me--dairy free and all!.

New season in life

I feel convicted after I just ate two cookies. I should preface that by saying that I ate a banana before I ate the cookies as my husband was eating a HUGE bowl of ice cream...which I should preface that by saying I was just complaining to my husband not even five minutes ago that my pants are tight...

The past two months has been nothing but transition in my life as I became an ordained minister and had to move completely out of my apartment in NY and put everything into storage for a month. Aside from that I got married in a different state, went on a honeymoon across the world, and then came back to move more than 900 miles away from my old place of residence. I have also started a new job (which is about an hour from home with Atlanta traffic...boo), am adjusting to being married, and to a new gym.

The nice thing about where we live is that there is a gym here, albeit not as nice as my old gym, but a gym none the less. I always say I'm not that sentimental, but the truth is I am. It takes me time every time I move to adjust to new things. I also seem to be comparing them to what was before. I guess it's part of the "grass is always greener on the other side" mentality.

I have neglected things that are priorities to me the past two months which begs the question of whether or not they are priorities. I have sincerely missed my prayer time and have recently spent some time earnestly before the LORD. I have missed exercising in general and am now adjusting to doing things that my husband likes, too (by the way...he can't stand going to the gym!). I have been eating whatever is available and really miss veggies!

Now is the time to stop making excuses. We are just about settled and moved into our new place. I am ready to be done shopping and thinking about making our new place home. It is home. I've just completed my second week in the office. I now know my way around the maze of the building and I know where the break room is so that I can pack a healthy lunch and take it with me. I now have been to the gym a few times and need to frequent it more often (i.e. make it a routine again). I am now figuring out my daily routine (although my job requires me to travel A LOT) and can settle into my health and wellness routine.

This is a new season in my life. It's time to put some new jams on the ipod and get to work.

Ode to pool friends

In a few weeks I will be moving half way across the country so tonight was the last night at the pool for me. I mentioned to some of my pool friends that it was my last night not thinking much of it and ended up having a really good conversation about life with two ladies there.

As I was swimming my laps I was reflecting on how important the pool has been for me over the past two years since I began swimming in this specific pool.

I have had a rough, but overall good two years. The pool has been something that I have been able to do for myself once a week and has been something that I have enjoyed. I find the water calming to my muscles and to my spirit even if I am out of breath after swimming laps for an hour or so.

The friends I started with in the pool are not the friends I ended up with in the pool. It is interesting to me that not one of the friends I first went to the pool with are still swimming but that in place of them the LORD has given me the opportunity to befriend other people.

Gerry gave me her address before I left the pool and wanted mine. The pool supervisor gave me a really big hug and kiss as I was leaving (I wasn't expecting that) and with tears in her eyes told me to "change the world, General."

So this is my ode to my pool friends:

To Gerry: keep going to your PT and swimming with that noodle..and thanks for making me laugh with, "Oh my gawd...the wudder is sooo cold Manika!"
To Peter (retired Episcopalian priest): get your laps in, Peter, and thanks for encouraging me. I, too, understand that the water is cold.
To Peter's wife: I'm sorry he talked to me more than you. Hopefully you two will talk more in the pool now that I will not be there.
To Monica: thanks for putting Jack Johnson on while we all swam. We always miss the nights when you aren't guarding.
To Matt: don't worry...if you get wet you will dry. It's a good thing you are wearing swim trunks just in case you did get wet from your chair.
To the guy who got divorced this past fall and comes swimming for social interaction and to check out the chicks: God bless you.
To the Chinese family with the twin boys (they are SOOO cute!): Congrats on not needing floaties around your arms anymore. Keep working on that doggie paddle!
To the Ukranian mom with a son about 11 or 12: why do you wear white pants to the pool every Monday night knowing that you are going to get wet? May you get some other pants.
To the young family with the little girl and baby: I encourage you to continue your family time at the pool. What a beautiful thing to do as a family.
To the old guy who always swims in the same lane and has never uttered a word to anyone in the past two years: I hope you have a voice.
To the pool supervisor: I hope everything works out with your mortgage. Keep on keepin on...
To the other pool supervisor: Your niece is adorable. I will remember for a long time when her dad was home from Iraq and came to see her swim in the pool.

Ode to Turkey Bacon

In my new found enthusiasm the other day to be healthier I purchased some turkey bacon. The first morning I made it I followed the directions and ended up burning it. It didn't look bad, but it sure did taste bad. I ate it anyway because I am stubborn.

I was telling this story to a friend, let's call him Mr.Tillsley, over dinner and he had some comments since he considers himself to be somewhat of a cook and a health expert.

Mr.Tillsley told me that regular bacon isn't that bad for you compared to sausage links (I don't like sausage anyway). I found this interesting because I did my homework on turkey bacon before purchasing it and was led to believe that turkey bacon was significantly better for you. I did some more homework and compared the turkey bacon with the regular low sodium bacon that I eat:

turkey bacon (95% fat free): 1 slice (15g), 20 calories, 5 fat calories (0.5g, 0 sat fat), 10mg cholesterol, 140mg sodium, 3g protein.

Oscar Mayer Low Sodium Yummy Bacon: 2 slices (14g), 70 calories, 50 fat calories (6g, 2.5 sat fat), 10mg cholesterol, 170mg sodium, 4g protein.


Turkey bacon did remind me of something vegan (I had vegan turkey for Thanksgiving a few years ago with some friends--bad experience), but once it is cooked it isn't that bad.

I'll eat since I bought it and don't want it to go to waste but I don't think there is much of a difference between the two. Thank you, Mr.Tillsley.

Now what?

A wise man once told me that it doesn't matter how well you strut when you are on the top of the mountain, but how straight you walk after you hit the bottom from falling off the mountain.

Today I am trying to walk straight after hitting the bottom.

The six week post training of the eight week interval training finished last week. I went to the gym today to do my measurements and expected to see some good results (after all, I have been working hard!). To my disappointment and to Chari's amazement EVERYTHING has gotten worse...I've put on a few pounds, my BMI and body percentage amount has increased AND all of my measurements have increased.

So what went wrong?

The stress of life...

The only thing that Chari can suggest is that I eat too much. Those who know me know that I really do LOVE to eat, but I eat healthy! This should not be the problem! I even gave up Twizzlers weeks ago. I just don't feel like eating my beloved Twizzlers.

So now what?

I don't have a scheduled workout routine at the moment. I am going to refine my diet more but I absolutely refuse to skip meals and go hungry. Some people can do that but it really isn't worth it for me.

I went to the market and bought some healthy food, but different types of healthy than usual. I bought kale, tofu, turkey bacon (which at the moment only makes me want to say YUCK!), but we will see how it goes.

Tomorrow is a new day.

What is the LORD trying to teach me in all of this? I thought my priorities were in order. I no longer workout first thing in the morning but have been using that time for my devotions instead. Now I am going to get up even earlier to go running (it's about time I get back into it) AND do devotions...there are some early mornings on the horizon for the next few weeks.

In the end, is this all worth it?