Reminiscing the old blog..."From Brokenness to Community"

While I was in seminary I began a blog about my experiences so that my church family I left behind in Philadelphia could see what it was like to live at the seminary.

That blog is no longer exists, but I thought I would re-post a few of the entries.

From Brokenness to Community
From Brokenness to Community is a book by Jean Vanier. It is originally from a lecture series at Harvard. Jean Vanier lives in France and talks about what he has learned from the adults with disabilities that he lives with. By living and working with these people he himself has found healing. He earned a doctorate in Philosophy and then met two men with Down's Syndrome when his life was changed. The three of them lived together and he started what we would call a residential home. There are several of these homes (L'Arche community) across France and the world (numbering over 100). He lives at the L'Arche community in Trosly-Breuil, France. Communal living is hard. Here are some thought provoking quotes from the book:

Community is a wonderful place, it is life-giving; but it is also a place of pain because it is a place of truth and of growth--the revelation of our pride, our fear, and our brokenness

...For they call us to love, to communion, to compassion and to community...

When we talk of the poor, or of announcing the good news of the poor, we should never idealize the poor. Poor people are hurt; they are in pain. They can be very angry, in revolt or in depression.

...the greatest pain is rejection, the feeling that nobody really wants you "like that"...

Many people in our world today are living in deep inner pain and anguish because as children they were not valued, welcomed, loved.

To be in communion with someone means to walk with them.

But this communion is not fusion. Fusion leads to confusion.

Communion gives freedom to grow.

Elitism is the sickness of us all.

...if someone is called to live with wounded people...he or she has to discover God's presence--that God is present in the poverty and wounds of their hearts.

Community is a place of conflict: conflict inside each one of us. There is first of all the conflict between the values of the world and the values of community, between togetherness and independence. It's painful to lose one's independence, and to come into togetherness--not just proximity--to make decisions together and not all alone.

...inside the churches...a yearning for solidarity, a cry coming from people for togetherness and love.

Faces don't lie

Community means the respect and love of difference

The greatest persecution can come from inside our communities; people who have fallen into mediocrity do not want others to rock the boat."

Uncle Donald Promoted to Glory

Andy's Uncle Donald passed away this morning. Over his 80 years of life he was truly a man of God--a man who practiced what he preached, who loved sincerely, and who prayed earnestly. He began praying for me before I ever met him. I had the privilege of spending a good amount of time with him a few summers ago while I was in Lebanon, PA for the summer months. His wife, Audrey, was very ill during this time and I saw love in action as he so delicately took care of her. There's was a deep, true love which only reflected the love he had for His savior. His was a gentle and giving soul. He served as a missionary in various places in Africa for several years and never had much by way of earthly possessions but was very rich indeed. This love he had for other people and for God is absolutely contagious.

Andy and his dad flew up to Pennsylvania the weekend before last to spend some time with him. They had a great weekend and Donald was very peaceful. Andy came home and told me that he had "perfect peace" that can only be explained by a firm faith in a just God. Lt. Colonel Donald Seiler has set the bar high for not only what it means to be a servant in this Army, but what is means to be a sanctified disciple of Christ Jesus. His life modeled Christ effectively in a very humble way.

These words are from Jeremy Camp's song Enough:

All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

More than all I am
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough

And all of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Ode to flax seeds

I have eaten flax seeds before but I purchased them this past week because they were on sale. I have been adding them to my salads and other meals and my husband has been eating them too.

Flax seeds are better than flax oil which can go rancid quickly AND they are good for up to a year after opening the package. I store mine in the refrigerator.

They should be ground up for their optimal nutritional benefit but so far I have been too lazy for that. Since we don't drink coffee and have a coffee mill or spice grinder I would have to do it in the blender. I really do need to ground them up to get any value out of them...maybe I'll buy a spice grinder this weekend. That would come in handy...

These tiny seeds are packed with really great nutritional value...fiber, omega 3s, protein, antioxidants...

Too much of them are a bad thing. They contain cyanogen (cyanide) which keeps the thyroid from taking up enough iodine- a problem I do not need. When they aren't ground up they not only pass right through you but they can also cause cramping, especially for those with IBS or other similar issues. I need to be careful.

All in all, I think the good more than out weighs the bad when it comes to flax seeds.


Since I love smoothies so much here is a morning smoothie recipe.

• 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries
• 1/2 cup orange juice
• 1/2 cup milk (you can use soy, rice, almond, etc--I used to use soy, but it isn't good for the thyroid)
• 2 tbsp flax seeds
  
• 1 tbsp maple syrup
• 1 banana

Unplugging

I led a group session this past weekend in Tennessee about the spiritual disciplines. We discussed how we can open ourselves up to God so that God can direct us.

I talked about the idea of "unplugging" and found it really challenging to me.

Unplugging calls us to leave the virtual world of technology in order to be present to God and others. Doing this allows us to be fully present to and uninterrupted in one's interactions with God and others.

Deuteronomy 8:10-11 states "When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God."

This is what can be done to unplug:
-unplug electronic devices that interrupt relationships
-refrain from the use of e-mail
-abstain from video recreation
-devote time and attention to others without interruption (no texting)
-communicate face to face rather than virtually (no texting)
-refuse to put sensitive human interaction into electronic form (facebook)
-have a no e-mail workday
-have an e-mail free weekend

Doing this allows one to settle into uninterrupted quiet time with Jesus.

Seven months and counting

I met with my trainer at the gym yesterday. She says I'm doing everything right. I met with the doctor today and my thyroid is doing great--1.7--so I really have nothing to complain about.

I am thankful that I have someone in my life who loves me no matter what my struggles are with weight or vanity and who supports me. We have been married a whole seven months today.

Thank you, God, for this gift you have given me in my best human friend and husband, Andy.

Contemporary Christian Music...WinterJam2010

I am not a big supporter of contemporary Christian music. I think too often the popular Christian bands compromise musicality and their lyrics are shallow at best. Music is too often focused on "me" and "I" and a lot of the lyrics aren't based in scripture. I mainly listen to Brooklyn Tabernacle or to old music that my husband likes.

Add to that the ever changing scene of bands breaking up, struggling with their own sin and addictions and it just isn't worth it to me...I gave up on Christian music before I was even fifteen. Haven't followed it much since.

I have been thinking about it though. The teens I work with all listen to really bad mainstream music. The lyrics, the violence, the message is just not healthy. Most of them are already struggling with depression, anger, eating disorders, the need to fit in and the need to be wanted. But what do I have to give them to listen to instead? Mediocre Christian rock bands with shallow theology in their lyrics? Is there any good Christian hip-hop around? What about a decent Christian band that makes young people think and not just feel good?

I'm stuck. We did talk about our church's hymnal and some of the beautiful treasures it contains--but that goes the other way--it's too deep for them right now. We spent like fifteen minutes explaining what "a bulwark never failing" means. That's only the first song in the book!

I tried to give Christian music another try at WinterJam here in Atlanta. Due to another church event this past weekend we couldn't bring our young people with us so we went--just the two of us. Complete with sandwich board guys out front (my favorite being "God loves" and "God hates" as it inaccurately judged homosexuals), youth groups, church vans, lots of Baptist people, and lots of middle class white people... Welcome to "mainstream" Christianity in the US.



It was loud. I felt old. Newsong is getting really old, but they are so gifted. Andy's highlight of the night was when they sang "Arise." I thoroughly enjoyed Third Day. Newsboys have gone through a lot of changes. They've added Michael Tait (the black guy from DC Talk) and sang "Jesus Freak" last night. They were alright, but nothing spectacular. There were only four of them in the band last night.

The Arena was sold out. They turned a little over 3,000 people away at the door. The concert was riddled with advertisements, buy this, donate to that, watch the video for this, etc..which has me thinking....is Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) popular because it's the "cool" thing to do as a young Christian?

When did Christianty cease being the unpopular thing to do? The thing that meant something because you had to sacrifice your all to Jesus? Something that meant you had to struggle to fit in with society because your life was something different (Romans 12:1-3)?

This is my prayer:

1 John 2:15-17

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.



Good thing it's all about love, about your heart, and not just about the music.

Why do we compare ourselves?: Pride and humility

I led devotions at work last Wednesday. We discussed pride and humility and why we feel the need to compare ourselves to other people and other things.


This quote is from Brennan Manning's book Relentless Trust

The more guilt and shame that we have buried within ourselves, the more compelled we feel to seek relief through sin. As we fixate our jaded motives and soiled conscience, our self-esteem sinks, and in a pernicious leap of logic, we think that we are finally learning humility.

On the contrary, a poor self-image reveals a lack of humility. Feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, inferiority, and self-hatred rivet our attention on ourselves. Humble men and women do not have a low opinion of themselves; they have no opinion of themselves, because they so rarely think about themselves. The heart of humility lies in undivided attention to God, a fascination with his beauty revealed in creation, a contemplative presence to each person who speaks to us, and a "de-selfing" of our plans, projects, ambitions, and soul. Humility is manifested in an indifference to our intellectual, emotional, and physical well-being and a carefree disregard of the image we present. No longer concerned with appearing to be good, we can move freely in the mystery of who we really are, aware of the sovereignty of God and of our absolute insufficiency and yet moved by a spirit of radical self-acceptance without concern.

Humble people are without pretense, free from any sense of spiritual superiority, and liberated from the need to be associated with persons of importance. The awareness of their spiritual emptiness does not disconcert them. Neither overly sensitive to criticism nor inflated by praise, they recognize their brokenness, acknowledge their gifts, and refuse to take themselves seriously. (pp. 120-121)

These are the lyrics to the song we listened to:

Cry For Humility


Lord I Cry For Humility
Crush the pride that has blinded me
Forgive my hidden faults and bring the fear of God
Until Your dread’s in me

CHORUS:
I will worship in Spirit and in Truth
Teach me discipline, to meditate on You
You gave up Your life, I must give my all to You
Remove the veil so I can see

Grant me grace to see my wickedness
You must increase while I become less
Keep Your servant from willful sin
So I’ll stand blameless before Your throne